Don't Be A Bosshole

A letter to my niece and nephew, as they prepare to navigate the corporate world.

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Dear Addison & Michael,

Remember how I shared in an earlier letter, Don’t Be Beige about humans being beige (beige = boring)? And how acting like a robot is so unhuman?

Today, it’s a widespread thing for people to act like. Here’s why they do it.  

It’s done out of fear.

Also because of fear, in the workplace, actual humans who are in charge of other humans (the boss) like to take on a cross between a robot and a human-vampire called a “Bosshole.”

They SUCK.

They literally suck the creativity and life out of their employees.  

They make actual humans working for them not feel good, always tired, miserable, and struggle with getting out of bed each morning. A condition that miraculously doesn’t happen during weekends.

Urban Dictionary defines bosshole as “the deadly hybrid of boss and asshole.”


They look like human beings but act nothing like an adult human.

They believe the only way to lead is to invoke fear.

Bossholes like to believe this style is the only way to lead due to their own fear, and they justify their inhumane actions and insane behaviors in the name of "business." As if they can't help it. It's how it has to be done and completely out of their control. "It's just business." Oh, "business" and your ways.  

It’s BS, or as your great-grandmother would say,  “horse pucky.”

In my heart, I believe that no one sets out to be a bosshole.

They just don’t know another way.

They haven’t been taught how to lead people.

How to support others, to lift them up, and inspire them.

How to look for the good instead of the bad and beating them down.

It’s not entirely their fault…

They haven’t had the best role models or experiences to support them in leading others in a human way, not an inhumane and insane way.

Get this crazy.

When do managers get their first leadership development training?

42 years of age is the average age people receive leadership development¬¬– about 10 years after they start supervising people (Zenger Folkman Database;

It’s like giving people keys to a car and not teaching them how to drive. Who does that? No one! Yet, when it comes to leading others…

Let me hear you say, this sh*t is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S! (Gwen Stefani Hollaback Girl).

It doesn’t help that far too many have also been rewarded and celebrated for this inhumane and insane poor behavior and treatment of others, but I do believe times are changing.

We often hear complaints about the Millennials and how difficult, demanding, and entitled they are.

Millennials are awesome because they aren’t putting up with this BS. They are speaking up, walking out, and owning their work life. They know they have mad skills to offer and finding places to work where they can apply them and not waiting around for others to change. They are doing the changing.

It’s my mission to support leaders who believe there is another way to lead that doesn’t involve being a bosshole or waiting until their 40s to get leadership development.  

And with this work, no niece or nephew of mine is going to become one because no one likes to work for a bosshole.

Leadership can be puzzling with all the various part and pieces you are responsible for.

I’m going to give you and other human leaders an organic, holistic leadership framework to help you and become a leader worth following and also deliver to the bottom line, consistently.

This framework filled a need for me when I was a new leader on where to focus my time, efforts, and energy.

> View my Leadership Puzzle HERE <

I’ve laid it all out for you so you can see exactly the role a leader plays in a team, and will show you how to NOT be a bosshole!

Still confused? I’ve written a WHOLE ARTICLE, breaking down this leadership puzzle piece by piece!

> Click here to read about it! <

I hope this brought more clarity for you, so you’ll recognize a bosshole before you ever have to work for one, and so you never become one yourself!

With love,

Aunt Rebecca


If you enjoyed this article, 

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* If wondering who Addison & Michael are? They are my niece and nephew. In these letters, I share human skills I have collected over the years through experience, observation, and trial and error.  Human skills focus on things like how be a team member people want to work around, to be a leader people want to follow, and how to create a culture and environment people want to get up out of bed for and do their best work in and make the world awesome for all in it.